Phyllis Gray

Phyllis Nelson Gray, 58, of Jericho, passed away on Wednesday February 3, 2016 at Vermont Respite House in Williston, after a brave three-and-a-half-year struggle with ovarian cancer. She was at peace and in the company of her loving husband Peter, friends, and family. Phyllis was a beloved wife, mother, daughter, sister, and grandmother, and a close friend to many. She was born on April 28, 1957 in Bangor, Maine, to Hazen Edward Nelson and the late Phyllis Joan Nelson. Her family moved often during her childhood, living in Maine, California, and elsewhere before settling in Acton, Massachusetts, where Phyllis graduated from high school. She attended the University of Maine at Orono, where she met and fell in love with Peter, who she married on August 26, 1978. Theirs was a long, loving, and joyful marriage, and they drew strength from each other in facing life’s challenges. Phyllis was a supportive, and loving mother to her two children, son Andrew and daughter Kristen, and a doting grandmother to her grandson, Lucas, born in August 2012. Phyllis loved her entire family deeply, and cherished yearly visits to her father’s childhood home of Stockholm, Maine, where she saw much-loved extended family. Phyllis also treasured her wonderful friends. She had an open and generous heart, and was a best friend to many. She cared deeply for others, gave selflessly, and was a steadfast source of support and compassion to all those whose lives she touched. Phyllis had many passions. She loved to knit, making Christmas stockings to welcome all new members of her family, among many other projects for family and friends. Phyllis also loved nature. She enjoyed many afternoons exploring the wooded paths of Mobb’s Farm near their home in Jericho, loved watching birds and other wildlife, and was a passionate gardener, taking great pleasure in her flower and vegetable gardens. She also showed her love of nature by serving on the Jericho Conservation Commission for nearly a decade. Phyllis was a woman of deep but quiet faith, and she cherished the community of faith at the First Congregational Church of Essex Junction. She was happy to share her skills and talents with that community as a member, first, of the church’s Board of Trustees and, later, of its Finance Committee. She also volunteered at the church’s food pantry and shared her love of reading by volunteering as an Everybody Wins! reading mentor. In addition to her love for family and friends, Phyllis was also deeply committed to her career in the finance and energy sectors. Phyllis received her B.S. in mechanical engineering from the University of Maine at Orono in 1979, and an M.B.A. from the University of Vermont in 1987. She worked for Simmons Precision, Green Mountain Power, Green Mountain Energy, and finally Dwight Asset Management, where she was a Senior Analyst and Vice President with deep expertise in energy and energy policy. She was successful and well respected in her field. A highlight of her career was meeting billionaire businessman and philanthropist Warren Buffet at a conference in Omaha. Perhaps awestruck by her brilliance, he dropped to one knee and proposed to her, a moment immortalized in a favorite photo. Phyllis politely declined, to Peter’s relief, and though the proposal was most likely meant in jest, Phyllis was nonetheless quite flattered. Phyllis is survived by: loving husband of 37 years Peter Brian Gray of Jericho; son Andrew Nelson Gray and husband Ethan Charles Jacobs; daughter Kristen Lucia Gray Jafflin, husband Claude Alfred Jafflin, and son Lucas Peter Nelson Jafflin; father Hazen Edward Nelson; brother Eric Hazen Nelson, wife Margaret (Peggy) Jean Krusell, and sons Carl Krusell Nelson and Michael Krusell Nelson; brother John Carl Nelson, wife Betty Shum Nelson, son Antoni Michel Saade, and daughter Anne Shum Nelson; sister Wendy Nelson Cory, husband Stephen Paul Cory, and son Alexander Nelson Cory; father- and mother-in-law Donald Charles Gray and Harriet Lou Gray; brother-in-law Michael Charles Gray and wife Ellie Perry Hayes; brother-in-law John Alan Gray and wife Samantha Ann Ridge; and many cherished uncles, aunts, and cousins. The immediate family would like to thank all those who have helped or offered support during Phyllis’s illness, including friends, family, and the church community. We thank the staff members at Fanny Allen Hospital, UVM Medical Center, and Massachusetts General Hospital, who aided in Phyllis’s diagnosis and worked so hard to improve the length and quality of her life, with special thanks to doctors Cheung Wong and Gail Berry and to nurse Kim Spina. We are eternally grateful also to the staff and volunteers at the Respite House in Williston, VT, who provided such comfort, dignity, and exceptional care to Phyllis and compassionately supported her, her family, and her friends in her final weeks. Thank you, and bless you all. Visiting hours will be held on Friday February 12, 2016 from 5:00 – 8:00 p.m. at A W Rich Funeral Home – Essex Chapel (57 Main Street, Essex Junction, VT). A memorial service will be held on Saturday February 13, 2016 at 2:30 p.m. at the First Congregational Church of Essex Junction (1 Church Street, Essex Junction, VT), with Reverend Mark Mendes officiating. A private inurnment will be held at a later date. The family requests donations in lieu of flowers, to either: the PKD (Polycystic Kidney Disease) Foundation – supporting research into a genetic disease that affects Phyllis’s family and complicated her cancer treatment – at pkdcure.org/donate or PKD, PO Box 871847, Kansas City, MO 64187; or to Vermont Respite House, 99 Allen Brook Lane, Williston, VT 05495. The family also invites you to share memories and condolences by visiting www.awrfh.com.